If you are facing a divorce, you may be wondering how it is you got here. You may also be wondering how other couples get here. It can be easy to assume that financial issues, infidelity, or other reasons are the leading cause of divorce. But really, the number one cause of divorce is something much simpler than those causes.
What Is the Leading Cause of Divorce?
While infidelity, addiction, and other more dramatic and definite causes of divorce may seem like an obvious breaking point, these issues are often symptoms of an underlying problem. Very frequently, something drove couples into the more obvious issue. But what was the cause?
The leading killer of relationships is not an action, but rather a lack of one. When we become complacent, we may expect things to stay the same, but we may put in less and less effort to maintain our relationship. Often, life gets busy and couples schedule less time to be together. The exciting newness of a relationship wears off. Suddenly, it becomes a chore to arrange time to talk, to show affection, and to enjoy each other’s presence.
As we spend less time and effort on our relationship, however, we often find ourselves hurt, disappointed, or even angry that our partner does the same. Without intervention, our relationship will continue to disintegrate and we will start to blame each other for our unhappiness.
What Can I Do?
If you feel that you marriage is truly over and cannot be saved, that doesn’t mean that you have to give up just yet. There are options that can allow you to take a step back from your marriage and reevaluate, without the finality and expense of a divorce.
Separation is an option that can help you make the decisions. While Texas doesn’t have any laws that recognize legal separation, you still can work out an informal separation with your spouse. Separating temporarily can give you both space and time to think about what you want. You may discover that the single life isn’t what you want at all.
If you choose an informal separation, it is worth remembering that there are no legal protections for separated couples. You are still legally married, and any decisions regarding property division, support payments, and child custody are not enforceable by law. If you are considering separation, speak with a divorce attorney who is experienced in helping couples arrange an informal separation.
You can also make the decision to try to repair your relationship. Some actions you can take include:
- Practicing good communication skills, and listening to your partner completely.
- Taking time to rekindle your romance with a date, weekend getaway, or even a vacation.
- Scheduling time to be together without distractions.
- Showing your spouse affection through notes, small gifts, cleaning up the “honey-do” list, or other actions that show your spouse their value to you.
- Meeting with a therapist, either individually or as a couple.
- Seeking support and help from your religious leader or community.
If you know that your relationship is beyond repair and wish to seek a divorce, our Dallas divorce attorneys are here to help. We understand the painful decision to end your marriage, and we are committed to compassionate, client-focused legal counsel to help you through this difficult time. At O’Neil Wysocki P.C., we are backed by more than 65 years of collective experience, so you can trust that we have the knowledge and skills to protect your best interests during the process of your divorce.
Schedule an initial consultation to discuss your case with our lawyers. Contact our firm by calling (972) 852-8000.